Evan's Eulogy

Evan's funeral was today. As hard as it was to hold a funeral for my son, it was really a special experience. There were just so many people there offering love and support. I was getting hugs from people I've never met. We were so blessed with friends and family who made so many tremendous sacrifices in our behalf from traveling great distances to helping clean up after the services. I couldn't possibly list all the help and service people have given us this past week. The love I felt today was almost overwhelming. There were so many flowers that they covered our kitchen table when we brought them home (that's after we brought many to the cemetery). The day was as good as it could have possibly been considering what was happening. There were a few moments that were very difficult for me. The hardest thing was putting the sealant on the coffin and putting the lid on. Another toughy was the eulogy. I've posted my notes below.



This week I’ve been told the hardest thing that can possibly happen in somebody’s life is to lose a child. I believe writing the eulogy may beat that one by a wee bit. This speech is, I believe, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to prepare.

Though Evan’s life was short, too short, I am so thankful for having had the honor of being the father of such a wonderful boy. He was always so happy and curious. Though our cabinets were “baby-proofed” with locks, Evan quickly discovered how to open them and loved pulling everything he saw out of the cupboards and onto the floor. And then tearing everything he could up into as small of pieces as possible. He wasn’t so into cleaning up afterwards though. He loved watching our reaction as he turned off the T.V. in the middle of a show we were watching. One of his favorite things to do was beat up on his older brother Jett. Jett never tried to fight back and would generally just let Evan pull his ears or hit him on the head with his toy hammer, while calling for us to come and help. Evan also had a little language all his own. When he was hungry he would move his tongue side to side until we gave him some food or drink. When he just wanted to say “hi” or “I love you” he would coo like an owl. One of his favorite things to do was to climb. He just loved being part of the action, and getting up on the table or on our bed made it that much easier to see what was going on and participate. He loved his brothers and they loved him. Graeden shared a special bond with Evan as he always asked if Evan could sleep in his bed with him, or play with him if we stepped out of the car and left them alone for a minute. Evan’s brothers just loved having him around for everything they would do, and were surprisingly careful with him.

The night before his passing, as many of you read on my blog, I shared a special moment with Evan as he stretched his little arm up around my neck and sat there with me on the couch. Though I didn’t know it then, I know it now to have been a little blessing from my Heavenly Father and it could have just as easily been my Savior’s arm around me in comfort. I will always cherish that special moment with him.

As Evan lay on the hospital bed with many doctors around him and signs of hope were dissipating, Bridget and I found a secluded room where we could be alone for a moment. We knelt down in prayer and as I spoke the words, “Thy will be done,” a great peace came over us. Though we love Evan dearly I am satisfied in my heart in knowing that it was his time to go.

In times of tragedy the question comes to our minds, “Why?” Do I know why Evan was taken early in his life? I cannot answer that question with any kind of authority. Could God have stopped this from happening? The answer is “Yes”, he is omnipotent. He could stop any sadness; heal all sick, save us from labor, and even from death. But he will not. We should be able to understand this, because we can realize how unwise it would be for us to shield our children from all effort, from disappointments, temptations, sorrows, and suffering. Without the bad there can be no good, without sorrow there is no rejoicing.

Prophet Spencer W. Kimball once said,”If we looked at mortality as the whole of existence, then pain, sorrow, failure, and short life would be calamity. But if we look upon life as an eternal thing stretching far into the premortal past and on into the eternal post-death future, then all happenings may be put in proper perspective.

Is there not wisdom in his giving us trials that we might rise above them, responsibilities that we might achieve, work to harden our muscles, sorrows to try our souls? Are we not exposed to temptations to test our strength, sickness that we might learn patience, death that we might be immortalized and glorified?”

The support from friends and family has been tremendous. People from all over the world have sent us their condolences. Yet as the world mourns and in the midst of my own personal mourning, I rejoice in my knowledge that Evan is in the bosom of our loving Father in Heaven. As Joseph F. Smith said, speaking of those who die before accountability, “They will inherit their glory and their exaltation, and they will not be deprived of the blessings that belong to them.”

I know that, though Evan’s spirit has left his body, he will be whole again someday. And as my family and I live the laws of the Lord and mold our wills to His, we will live together again, forever, in the eternities.

Many of you have been praying fervently this week for our family to be comforted in our time of need. I can assure you those prayers have been answered. It is my prayer that Evan’s life will be a reminder for us all to put the things of this world into perspective. To work a little bit harder to choose the right. To be slower to anger and quicker to understanding and love. To let go of our vices and to hold onto those things that will bring us closer to the Comforter, our Savior. Even, Jesus Christ. And in His name, I say these words. Amen.